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   I think some chemical company has that motto, and modern chemistry really can make our lives better. Most rural communities have a business that caters to the needs of farmers and those of us peculiar people that spend their excess time and money on improving wildlife habitat. My local chemical supplier happens to be Crop Services in Drakesville, Iowa. One reason I patronize this business is the fact John, the owner, has been to my farm and understands when I try to explain the problem I am trying to correct. More importantly, he acts as though I am just a bit eccentric, rather than crazy.  This is always a plus.  It always un-nerves me when a businessman treats me as though he thinks I am a brick or two shy of a full load. His assumption may well be true, but he should at least be polite enough to hide is opinions until he gets my money and I get out the door. 

   John has advice, seed, and chemicals for every occasion. If I show up and want to get rid of multi-flora rose bushes, he has just the thing. Rose bushes are one of the things in life that annoy me the most.  They can prevent the deer and turkeys from feeding in large areas of the timber as they cannot reach the fallen acorns and hickory nuts. Cows cannot graze through the thorny mass and worse yet; roses prevent me from walking where I want. John had just the thing. We loaded the sprayer in the back of the Gator and drove through the woods spraying every rose bush we saw. The results were amazing.  The brush and bushes died within days without harming the grass or the trees. Within two weeks, new vegetation was growing as food for the newly hatched turkey poults in the area previously shaded by the annoying rose bushes. 

   I wanted to put in several acres of food plot for deer, turkey, and assorted songbirds that winter over. John suggested I use Roundup and no-till plant the area. In spite of all the negative publicity, Roundup is good stuff. It kills every green thing it touches and leaves a clean area to plant seed. The soil does not have to be plowed or tilled, preventing erosion. The chemical is gone before the seeds germinate. 

   I filled my little sprayer and drove the Gator to the food plot.  As usual, when a hose is used to fill a tank, some water will spill into the liner of the gator. I did not give it a second thought.  A couple tanks covered the area and I had just a bit left. I thought, “Hours of weed-eating and trimming around the cabin and dock could be avoided if the grass and weeds did not grow close to things.”  I sprayed around the cabin, drove across the lawn to the dock where I killed off the unwanted vegetation, and went back across the lawn to the fence. I sprayed a six inch path around anything that might require slowing down on a riding lawnmower. 

   The next week end when we came back to plant the food plot, I noticed the food plot and borders I had sprayed were turning brown. I also observed a strange circle in the grass about four feet from the cabin and a large brown “V” in the lawn going from the cabin to the dock and back up to the fence.  Perhaps we had been visited by aliens. A few days later, I discovered the sprayer had a small leak that dripped Roundup on one tire of the Gator. Everywhere I drove, there is now a ten-inch-wide strip of dead grass. Chemical control can save hours of work and be very beneficial. They can also be hazardous to the lawn and a person’s health. 

   When using these chemicals, always read and follow the directions. Be careful not to track them where you do not wish them to be. Your better living through chemistry might include living with a big circle and “V” in the yard.

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