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by Lori Gooch, May Creek Senior Living Campus



Holiday parties, family dinners or any special gathering can be a difficult time for people with dementia and those around them. Adjusting expectations and some simple and straight forward planning can help these events remain meaningful opportunities for all involved according to Esther Gieschen, Northern Regional Center Director for the Alzheimer's Association Minnesota-North Dakota chapter. Gieschen presented "Caring through the Holidays," a workshop full of tips and suggestions for caregivers and community members, at May Creek Senior Living Campus in Walker last week.

Alzheimer's is a disease that begins to become evident with symptoms as people age. It is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States, and accounts for 70 percent of all dementias. Statistics show that one out of every eight people age 65 and over have Alzheimer's disease or a related disorder. Half of people over the age of 85 have the disease. It is a disease that impacts every race and walk of life, and while education and research continue to improve, less than 20 percent of all people with symptoms of dementia have a medical diagnosis on record.

The holiday season is traditionally a time when family and friends reconnect. It can be a time of sharing memories, traditions, religious beliefs, love and appreciation for one another. A person with dementia may feel a great sense of loss during this time for the changes they are experiencing. They may be anxious or embarrassed about others learning of their memory loss, and their reaction to the changes. Many living with dementia also find disruptions in routine and increased amounts of people, noise and over-stimulation to be very discomforting.

Care giving tasks layered on top of keeping up with holiday traditions can also take a toll on Alzheimer's families, especially the primary care provider. Often caregivers may feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of providing care while continuing to maintain holiday traditions. They may be hesitant to invite others to share the holiday for fear guests will be uncomfortable with memory changes in the person with dementia, or the disruption it may create.

Gieschen advised to watch for signs of stress in both those with dementia, and caregivers. Physical signs may include: stomach distress; difficulty breathing; muscle pain or weakness; sleep disturbance; headache; chest pain; lack of energy; or changes in eating habits. Emotions signs may include: sadness; anxiety; agitations or frustrations; loneliness; guilt; anger; increased nightmares; or concentration problems.

"If you are noticing these signs in yourself or someone else, it is time to make some changes to ensure better health," said Gieschen. "Ask for help; let relatives or others know what they can and can't expect from you; stick to routines; consider counseling or support groups; and above all give yourself permission to say 'no' to things that add to the stress."

Gieschen offered tips to help with the challenges of dementia for families and others hosting holiday events:[[In-content Ad]]

·Choose for yourself what and when to celebrate;

·Celebrate in a familiar and comfortable location when possible. Staying in the current home situation is likely best, but if this is not possible then ask the host in advance to make a quiet room available for the person with dementia to rest, avoiding over-stimulation and reducing anxiety;

·Discuss appropriate gifts with others in advance. An identification or safe-return bracelet, clothing that is easy to put on and remove, video or photo albums or calendars of family and friends, stuffed animals or soft pillows, magazines or books with large print or favorite music tapes or CD's are all useful gifts. The Alzheimer's Association website lists many suggestions at www.alz.org;

·Set ground rules in advance for appropriate interaction with all involved. Instead of saying "You remember this, don't you?" use "I remember when..." for sharing past memories and events. Also tone of voice is important to ensure respectful interactions and leaving the person with dementia with a positive and joyful emotional experience;

·Smaller gatherings with fewer people are less confusing. Hearing and vision loss related to aging further compounds the frustration of large group gatherings, adding to the confusion for someone with dementia.;

·Plan a brunch or lunch time gathering as the earlier part of a day is usually best for someone with dementia;

·Consider a catered meal or even a potluck style meal to reduce the stress of preparation - offer to bring napkins, wine or something simple.

·Prepare the person with dementia for visitors by discussing who will be present and showing photos of them if available;

·Prepare those attending, especially children, about positive communication techniques to use with the person with memory loss;

·Provide non-alcoholic drinks;

·Use name tags to help identify everyone present; and

·Keep the room bright and welcoming, but avoid blinking lights, loud music and excessive decoration on table and gathering spaces.

Involving the person with dementia in ways they can be a successful part of the event or gathering will help make it a more meaningful emotional experience. Gieschen suggested the following:

·Allow person with dementia to be an observer - it is less stressful;

·Talk of past times and good memories;

·Sing well known carols and music;

·Involve the person in safe, manageable activities such as familiar food preparation, decorating, wrapping gifts, reviewing old photos or card making; and

·Maintain person's normal routine so holiday preparations don't become too disruptive or confusing.

Often the primary care provider does not take time away to meet their own needs, adding to the increase in stress related health needs. Gieschen shared ideas for meaningful gifts that can help ease the stress for the caregiver:

·Offer to come in and provide care weekly or monthly to allow the caregiver to have a scheduled respite break;

·Give a gift certificate for a massage, salon appointment or manicure/pedicure to pamper the caregiver; or

·Offer to be a holiday partner for the person with dementia, available to provide cues for the person, assist him/her with eating and other activities, and support them to feel engaged during the event.

"Above all, I encourage everyone to concentrate on enjoying your time together and focus on the positive things in life, both at the holidays and in any gathering," said Gieschen "We may have a hard time letting go of life as it was, but making the adjustments to understand dementia and the needs it creates will add value and meaning to time spent together. The person may not remember specifics about an event or the people that were gathered, but the good emotional feelings that can be created have a lasting impact."

For additional resources or information on the Alzheimer's Association's Walker area Caregivers Support Group that meets monthly at Hope Lutheran Church, contact Jill Grimes at May Creek Senior Living Campus at 218-547-7555. Copies of the handouts from Gieschen's presentation are available by contacting Lori Gooch at 218-547-7513 or email [email protected].

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